Checked Baggage

The Cast of Characters…

Please check your baggage before boarding.

Me: Telling you stories with my heart on my sleeve. Mostly.

Mel: My best friend. We used to work together at the hospital, but she left in early 2008 and is now a police officer. She lives close by and if she didn’t, I think I would just set up a tent in her backyard. Has seen me through everything and deserves a halo for it. Is married to Ben (below), with whom she has the coolest baby ever. EVER.

Ben: Husband of Mel (above) and best friend of Tim (below). Usually gives me the lowdown on what the boys are gossiping about.

Tim: Best friend of Ben (above). Brother of Navy and friend of Fireman (below). Boyfriend May 2006-February 2007, active military at that point, deployed in the desert for half of our relationship. Came home to his loyal, care-package-sending, daily-writing girlfriend and felt the pressure from everyone else (except me) to make things more serious in our relationship. Freaked out. One week after I picked him up at the airport, we had what he told me was “the best date ever,” and that he was “so lucky to be with me,” and the next day he stopped calling and stopped answering. Cold turkey for two weeks. He finally answered the phone one day and I told him to grow some balls and come over and break up with me like a man if he wanted to end our relationship. He did, and walked out of my life with little in the way of explanation. After many, many months (and much intensive therapy and a small hospital stay on my part), we slowly became comfortable with each other again – an effort made necessary by the intertwined best-friendships with Ben and Mel (see above). He was discharged from active duty in April and moved back to the city, and we see one another frequently. FWB for awhile, not quite so much anymore. He does not like me dating other people and confesses that he’s lied to me and said HE was, in an effort to make me jealous. A piece of my heart is still dead inside because of what he did, why he did it and and the way he did it, but I still care about him immensely and want to make the budding friendship work. Some people still think we’ll end up together. I don’t think that will happen. I don’t think I’d trust him to show up at the altar.

Navy: Brother of Tim (above) and friend of Ben (above) and Fireman (below). Recent hookup who is really just a friend who understands me and the screwed-uppedness of my brain, mostly because he is similarly screwed up. Genuinely good guy to whom life has dealt a shitty hand. Would be very difficult to actually date him because of family connections.

Fireman: Friend of Tim and Navy and Ben (above). Recently dated him for about two weeks until a particular incident involving Gin Buckets and my own very poor judgment killed that one deader than dead. Has the potential to make things very awkward because of long-standing friendship with above.

E: Boyfriend, October 2007-June 2008. First boyfriend who said he loved me since my ex-fiance, circa 2003. Is a chef, and all stories tagged “The Restaurant” include him. Knew exactly how Tim and I broke up (above) and swore to always return phone calls and to never hurt me like that. But he did. The exact same thing. Cold turkey. But where Tim walked out of my life and was gone, I wouldn’t let E do it on his own terms. I did my crying, hunted him down at The Restaurant and told him what a chicken and a jerk he is. I had the last word and it was mean. He is not part of my life at all now.

Ex-Fiance, sometimes referred to as Bear: Boyfriend March 2001-February 2002, fiance until May 2003. Wedding was planned for August 9, 2003 and not an August 9th goes by that I don’t think of that. Sweetest and most loving guy I have ever been with. Sometimes a huge regret, sometimes a bittersweet memory, always a painful lesson. Big piece o’ baggage. Does not figure largely in this blog, and we are no longer in contact.

Captain: A friend of a friend’s boyfriend. Army boy. We’re both obnoxious drunks, which is a good measure of compatibility. Our few dates have always included other people, so it’s hard to tell what’s going on at this point. The Army is moving him to Texas in October though, so this will probably taper off soon. In the meantime, he’s teaching me to play darts.

Copper: A friend of a friend in the Police Academy. Carries his gun everywhere (as he’s supposed to) but it’s weird to hug him when he’s wearing that. We’ve been out a few times and had fun, but lately I’ve had this feeling that it’s just not going to work.